Wednesday

RUETERS: Starbucks Creates Obama Latte

NOVEMBER 5th, 2008, 6:01AM EDT.

In honor of Barrack Obama's landslide victory for the American presidency, Starbucks has announced a new drink to be added to their menu early next year.

The "Mulatte" will hit cafe counters on January 1st, 2009. The drink consists of half organic espresso, half steamed soy milk, and a teaspoon of enriched, fertile American topsoil.

The latte was supposed to launch in mid 2008, at the height of Obama's campaign, but was postponed due to controversial testing by the FDA.

"At first the drink scored record high marks from taste testers," said Starbucks Chief P.R. Manager Glen Roddenburg. "But after the drink settled we received complaints of bloating. Luckily, most were too embarrassed to say anything and we only had to report a few cases."

The Mulatte also created quite a stir at a Starbucks restaurant in Illinois, where patrons were used as a test group for the drink's specialized sizing plan. Patrons were confused when, after ordering a tall Mulatte, Starbucks baristas would poor excess coffee from grande and venti drinks into their cup, causing superheated overflow to burn their hands.

"At first when we asked if they wanted more coffee for no extra charge, they seemed excited," said one Starbucks employee. "But then ... the screams. Oh sweet Christ, those awful, awful screams."

While controversy still caps the latest Starbucks endeavor, the company is hopeful millions of loyal coffee drinkers will brave the long lines in the New Year.