INTERN STUNS ARCHEOLOGICAL COMMUNITY
Kathryn Borman was finishing her first week at an archeological dig just outside the French the town of Vergeinal, when, despite protests from instructors, she lit a cigarette near a newly discovered gas line. The resulting explosion killed Kathryn and three paleobotanists, but resulted in the most amazing archeological find since the resting place of Pontius Pilate's dog and, some are saying, the greatest scientific discovery since Hektor Lonzo’s theory on the disappearing non-absence of anti-non-dark-opposite-non matter in the electro fields of quark molecules.
The explosion unearthed three previously unknown dinosaurs, all completely intact and all shedding new light on the pre-historic world. Scientists have already classified the new creatures.
(1) Lacanadon: a tiny reptile with a spiny back and thirty foot tail.
(2) Camillian: a frail creature with two sets of female genitalia.
(3) Freudosaurus: a dinosaur with no eyes and boney plates on its spine that keep it in a rigid, upright sitting position at all times.
“It’s not just the creatures themselves,” says Frank Lee, paleopsychologist from
The fossils were discovered in what appears to be a pre-historic therapist office. The Lacanadon and Camillian were found on the floor near a granite chaise lounge. These two dinosaurs were in what scientists are calling a 69 B.C. position.
The Camillian was found carrying a gun made entirely of bones. The Lacanadon was shot through the head while, oddly enough, the Camillian appears to have died of loneliness.
A few yards away, the Freudosaurus appears to have watched the attack while wearing skimpy women’s undergarments, which might be the earliest known example of a Freudian slip.
Scientists from around the world are converging on the spot, and unsubstantiated reports indicate that Steven Spielberg is incorporating these new scientific finds into his NC-17 rated Jurassic Park 5: Attack on
Spielberg was unavailable for comment.
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